Perhaps the title of this particular blog is a little harsh, but it is a harsh world we live in and a harsh reality we need to face. This harsh reality exists because often we turn a blind eye, we are often ignorant though not always, most of the time we are just afraid to step in, uncertain of what we should do.
Just imagine living in a home where you constantly walk on egg shells, if you step the wrong way, breath the wrong way, say the wrong thing you encounter fists, pounding you down... or hands strangling the life out of you. In some cases you find yourself being punished for being unsubmissive, or annoying your spouse in one way or another. What am I rambling on about? This is not you, right? If it isn't they you are blessed, but there are many women, some we may know and we would be shocked to know faces this almost on a daily basis. Abuse. Harsh, soul shattering abuse. Some of it happens with beliteling word that tear down our sense of wroth... and we believe we are trash, lower then that, we are a dormat, we start believing we deserve to be hit, or torn down with condescending words... we forget we are daughters of the King... becasue the one we love on this earth suggests with so many actions we are not.
This has been a subject that has had a personal impact in my life, I have been abused. But I was lucky, I got away before it got worse. But the sad menacing truth is many, many women don't... they never ever escape. Here are some statistics that may open your eyes and motivate you to action:
50% of offenders in state prison for spousal abuse had killed their victims. Wives were more likely than husbands to be killed by their spouses: wives were about half of all spouses in the population in 2002, but 81% of all persons killed by their spouse.
---Matthew R. Durose et al., U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 207846, Bureau of Justice Statistics, Family Violence Statistics: Including Statistics on Strangers and Acquaintances, at 31-32 (2005), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/fvs.pdf
---In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner.1 That's an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner.
---Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year. Less than 20 percent of battered women sought medical treatment following an injury.
---Every 9 seconds, a woman is battered in the U.S.
Family Violence Prevention Fund, 1994
Here's ones that REALLY got me:
---Domestic Violence occurs in 60% of marriages and is the most underreported crime.
National Crime Statistics Report, 1993
---90% of battered women reported that their children were present when they were beaten.
Okay so according to these statistics this means that presumably only 40% of women who are married are not being abused in one way or another, right (and this was a survey of REPORTED crime in 1993, imagine what it is now). Also keep in mind that many of the women being abused do not report it. The bravely put on a Sookie Stakhouse smile, put makeup on their wounds and paint their husbands as saints, they go on hoping for a better tomorrow. These brave souls think that if they just clean better, cook more, not say anything to agitate their spouses and be submisive it will get better, but the loathsome truth is that unless God radically changes that man inside out it never gets better, only worse.
What am I getting at here? I want us to step it up and be bold, be aware of the signs of abuse. I want us to look abuse straight in the eye and offer shelter somehow. I want us to equip these women with hope, shelter, self defense and point them to the Lover of their precious souls. I want us to show them that they are not trash... they are priceless jewels paid for and redeemed in the blood of the Savior. I want us to step it up and show them they are not a doormat. God never meant 'submit to your husbands' to mean 'be his doormat'. God said for men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, Christ gave up His very own life to redeem His bride (The Church) from satan. He SACRIFICED Himself, He HUMBLED Himself (he left heaven to come to this painful earth for us), He HEALED our wounds... oh and when a woman was about to be stoned by a bunch of men (yea she was caught in adultry, but where was the man... it takes two to tango) He came to her rescue. Yea, Christ COMMANDS that the husband love his precious wife, as He loves the church... that is the kind of man the wife is supposed to submit to... not the kind that pounds with heavy fists upon her or orders her around as a slave, or belitels her with condescending words to steal her worth.
So what is the purpose of stating these facts? Action, please! Lets start something, I want one thing if you know a battered woman or suspect she is battered, stop. Don't just go on, just stop, sit with her, embrace her, listen to her, offer her solutions one of which should definately be her pressing charges against her spouse. Another solution is learning to defend herself, a great tool for that is found at this website: http://ataonline.com/ , yea its karate, it sounds cheesy... but I have to state that if I knew half the things I know now that I've learned I would not have been a victim. Other solutions? Visit your woman friend often and unnanounced at her home, this is what a pastor in Sweden often did once he saw the marks on my neck from being chocked, and also other congregation members. If you are a pastor, offer counseling to the husband and also the wife, if you see signs of abuse continue don't turn the other way (perhaps not knowing what your next step should be), a life may be in danger, report it, don't ask what if's... tomorrow those what ifs may not matter.
On a closing note, if you are someone going through what I've written about, I am not a counselor but I will do everything I can to help and seek help with you, please feel free to email me at: evangheline@gmail.com .
Please dear woman, remember you have been lovingly been made in the Master Creator's Image, you are His princess, you deserve to be loved and you are loved by Him so very much...
No comments:
Post a Comment